Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Sleep is boredom.

It's 11:09. I have been awake for about 17 hours. And I'm in for another three or four. Insomnia; something everyone deals with. Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking too early are the classic types. Insomnia is usually stress related (biological issues excluded), and in today's hectic society it's a wonder anyone ever sleeps. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the Type-A driven, career based, run until you drop lifestyle of our world. I think waiting for things, like for food grow is great. But I have a hard time with boredom; there is far too much work to be done in this world, and too many things to see, taste, hear, experience to ever claim boredom.

If I had to create a bucket list now it would be a million items. Take into account my youth and this makes sense; I want to do everything, and I feel like I could take on the world.

So, my personal insomnia? Well it's double causation. First, stress. I stress about just about everything. Especially when I'm at school; music is a high pressure degree program. The thoughts of scheduling, assignments, rehearsals to be prepared for, music to learn, proficiencies, and of course interpersonal relations and intra-personal doubts. These add up...they keep the mind highly active. Sleep won't come to a highly active mind. My dad and I can attest to this. We have a strange combination of all three types of insomnia. We never sleep, or if we do it's a few (as in two or three) hours. We deal our own ways: my dad reads, I rest.

As I rest I think about the millions of things I want to do during and with my life. It keeps me occupied. Then before I know it, it's time to get up and hit the day running.I guess maybe I don't have time for boredom, even when I sleep.